Every Saturday, we compare two things that don’t go together.
Today we are talking about being lonely even with a crowd around you.
The human species learned that in order to survive and to thrive in the Savana, we need a community of 150-170 people to keep our society functioning.
Our brains developed signals to drive us to stay in a community for continued survival.
Today, we still feel those signals but often we have difficulty interpreting them.
These are the same signals that form deep in the inner portions of your brain. The same as hunger, desire for the opposite sex, need for sleep, and desire for shelter.
Your mind wants you to be part of a group to ensure that you will survive.
But when you feel this signal, our “thinking” and “logic” brain tries to interpret the signal. Sometimes we feel that we are not good enough, or the crowd we are with is not the right crowd. We make decisions that are less than ideal in this lowered state of emotions. We seek to belong to a group, even if the group is not the best for our lives.
This is because this “loneliness” signal also includes a second half…the portion that lowers our guard. It makes us more likely to spend time with people we might otherwise identify as inappropriate.
So when I am feeling down and lonely, I try to guard against going out to meet “anyone” and focus on the people I know and trust. If I am feeling lonely, it is quite possible that one of my friends is feeling the same way.
So I call my old friends. If they are busy, the conversation will be short. Or perhaps the conversation will be energizing for both of us!
And once the feeling of loneliness has passed, I can return to being me again.
Because if you ignore the feeling entirely. Or if you wrap yourself up with Netflix and wine. It is possible that you enter a downward spiral that leaves you feeling that you are the problem. This is one of the entry ways to depression. SEEK HELP if you are there. Talking to a professional can help unmasks the roots of your feelings, and bring you back whole.
Remember. Loneliness is the brains way of asking you to get out and be with people. Once you understand the signal, you are better equipped to make good decisions about the sensation you are feeling.
So go out, and do the great things you were meant to do!
Thanks for joining us today.